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You know you’re a hot mess when… and a few tips to make thing better!!

Have you ever woken up and said:

“What the heck am I doing with my LIFE?”

“Will I ever live on my own?”

“Will I ever have more money than BILLS?”

Well this is the post for you…

So here is the deal, everyone at some point in their life is a HOT MESS.


It could be a bad breakup. You realize you hate your job. You look at your finances and it is a disaster. Your physically not happy with yourself.

It could be anything.

We all have those voices in our head that are negative, fear based and scream “Oh no pal, not you, there is no success in your future! Kiss happiness good-bye”

This is what I have to say to that “That is RIDICULOUS”.

You have just as much smarts, talent, skill, love and opportunity as the next guy. You just have to DO something about it.

So here are some ideas that you can apply to your life and get things rollin in the right direction.

A few things I learned in life were

  • No one was going to come and hand me a boat load of money (highly disappointing by the way)
  • No one was going to tell me to enjoy myself, just relax and chill or do the work for me.
  • I was going to have to do all/ most of the work myself.

What I have also learned is that with enough attention, time, persistence and consistent learning and growing, I could make some pretty great things happen in my life.

Let’s get started:

  1. Define WHAT YOU WANT!! We all have the power to choose, but if you have no idea what you WANT it makes choosing a little challenging.
  2. There are specific life areas to think about:
  •  Relationships
    • YOURSELF (amazing how many people do not put this one on the LIST)
    • Marriage/ significant others/ Love (it is important to love the people you love and that takes time and attention).
    • Children (they don’t just raise themselves)
    • Social – friends, neighbors, colleagues (people are funny, you have to be able to manage your emotions, and sometimes – THEIRS!)
  • Purpose
    • What do you love to do
    • Career/ work-life
    • Learning
    • Teaching
  • Spirituality
    • God
    • The Universe
    • Connection with Nature
    • A power greater than you
  • Health
    • Physical- How do you take care of your body and how will it serve you over the course of your life?
    • Nutritional– how do you take care of your nutritional needs? How do you fuel your body?
    • Mental – how do you take care of your mind and what do you want it to do for you over your life?
  • Growth – How do you GROW? Often we go to school and once we’ve graduated we take a permanent hiatus from learning. That is INSANE!!
    • Learning
    • Reading
    • Listening
    • Evolving
    • Progressing

I know it is only a list of 2 things, but they are the most important things. Figure out what you want.

Think about what you want in these life areas and write them down. Once you get clear on your life you can start to DO things that will MAKE things happen and things WILL get BETTER!!!

Here is an example:

I want to have an awesome marriage with 2 great kids. I want to travel and enjoy the world. I want to eat healthy food and live to take care of my grandkids with great physical health and mental sharpness. I want to do meaningful work and help people. I want to have a strong relationship with God.

From these statements I know I need to do a few things:

  1. Marriage: Read about how to have a great marriage, a LOT. Ask people with great marriages what they do. Make marriage a priority.
  2. Raising good kids: Read and talk to people about how they have raise great kids or how their parents raised them (only if they are good people. Don’t ask people that are shmucks, that would not be helpful…. Or maybe it would because you can do the OPPOSITE!)
  3. Travel: well I need to be good with my money if I want to invest in travel. Learn about personal finance! Read, listen, take a course, talk to people that are in good financial standings.
  4. Eat Healthy food: read, talk to a nutritionist, watch healthy cooking shows, read healthy cooking blogs.
  5. Live a long time to be there for my grandkids: Exercise, move, keep my body in motion.
  6. Mental Sharpness: Read, exercise, eat well.
  7. Meaningful work: Pay attention to what energizes me, pay attention to what I naturally gravitate to in a discussion. Observe what books I like to read, what blogs I follow, listen to what people I LOVE talk about. Identify themes and commonalities.
  8. God: Go to church, listen to relevant podcasts, ask friends about their faith.

These are just a few ideas to get things moving in the right direction.

It takes time, but as you can see from above, it isn’t super hard. You just have to do the work.

It is worth it. I promise. Once you have learned how to do these things for yourself, you can then share what you have learned with others. Imagine if everyone in the world knew what they wanted and went for it. I think it is totally possible.

Don’t tell yourself you are a hot mess. Don’t waste your time staying stuck. Think about what you want. Write it down. Have a plan. If it is not in the plan, don’t do it.

You’ve got this!!

Firmly rooted in your corner!


Karen & Bill

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